I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I will pee on everything he values.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
