Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
