My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
