Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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