would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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