Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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