Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think my mom watched the whole time
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
