forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
