I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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