And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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