Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
