I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
