i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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