Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
where am i from again
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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