ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
