I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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