Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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