I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
