Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
