Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
