there was a trapeze. enough said
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
