So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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