I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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