So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
