she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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