only if we run a train.
done.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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