Can Purell be used as lube?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i drank out of a bidet.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
