didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so explain again why im purple
no
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I smell stomach acid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
