Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize