They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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