what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
