I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
