The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we're so committed to being not committed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
