escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
