In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
