I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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