I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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