Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
