Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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