I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
