Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
