Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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