He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
