Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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