I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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