so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
