Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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