The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
