Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize