VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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