I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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