im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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