9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
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how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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