are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize