im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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