I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
