i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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