I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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