using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
