I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
