THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His hands were made for my vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
