Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
