Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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