Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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