you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
