i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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