Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well you can't waste a boner
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
