dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
