Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
