I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
