When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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