Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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