where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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