sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
