Pappa wants mamma naked
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
